WARNING: This is a rant!
How I Feel
I sometimes feel like no one gets how much I love books. How much I love buying, collecting and reading them. I feel like, outside this bookish community, I’m completely alone.
Why I Feel This Way
Look, when you get to know me in real life, it’s not hard to find out that I’m a book-lover. I’m reading all the goddamn time and I’m always bringing books with me everywhere. And if you see my room, the fact cannot ever be denied- I’m totally into books.
My family and friends know how bookish I am. Heck, some of them even know about this book blog of mine. They say it’s cool that I read so much, that I have so many books. BUT.
I feel like no one’s interested.
You know what’s worse than someone disturbing you to ask about the book you’re reading and how it is and all that? It’s someone asking you what you’re reading and then not asking for your thoughts. When they shrug and smile like, ‘Oh that’s cool. I’m not gonna ask a follow-up question though cos I really don’t care much.’ Aside from the awkward silence after, it’s just sad that this person wouldn’t even want to talk about books with me even when it’s so clear I love them. I get that not everyone adores books as much as I do. That’s the thing though- it’s something I adore and it’s the one thing I can talk about for once, and yet so few ever ask me about them. Like for example, I’m smiling like a mad woman over what I’m reading- is no one even curious why? I want someone, anyone, to ask me what I’m getting giddy over instead of just looking at me like I’m crazy.
I don’t feel the support.
The last time I got a book as a real gift (you know, the type that’s given from the heart, while you were in someone’s thoughts) from any of my family or friends was two years ago. Ever since, I’ve been buying books on my own allowance. My parents would never even buy them for me unless I ask (and beg). This is the part where I sound like a whiny spoiled brat… but how come no one has thought of ever getting me a book for so long now when it’s obviously the one thing I’d always appreciate? Even just a bookstore gift card would be nice! Is it because I have too many books? See- that’s the thing. If they understood my love for books, they’d have known that I could never get enough. Would it hurt to show some support for my bookish tendencies, to indulge me my most favourite thing? Or maybe to just not roll your eyes and look at me like I’m so absurd for buying another book yet again.
The Lowdown
I just wish people would show more enthusiasm for books- or at least the fact that I really love them.
I think I basically just talked about my love for books like it’s a forbidden boyfriend I need everyone to accept and understand. Lol, I’m totally embarrassing myself, am I?
How about you? Have you ever felt like no one gets your love for books? Like no one understands? Have you ever felt disappointed by others’ lack of support and interest in your passion for books? Pour your heart out!
54 Responses
I’m glad you posted this!! I know how you feel. There are a lot of times when someone asks me, “What are you reading?” or “How is your book?” And I feel like I want to launch into an epic speech about how I feel about the book, or what’s good and what’s bad, etc. It’s almost like I want to speak an impromptu review. But I *always* stop myself because I feel like non-readers don’t care. They usually give me that look that says, “That’s nice, but I’m not actually interested.” You know, that look that says they are trying to listen, but just to be polite.
And that’s fine.. people have different interests and all that.. but I feel like I have ZERO “real life” friends who are bookish like I am, and it’s kind of… lonely. I just wish I had people I could talk to and fangirl with. I have some of those friends online, but it’s not quite the same sometimes.
I’m glad too! I’m just sometimes so frustrated with that look- the one people give you when they don’t care much about the book you’re reading!
I have two real bookish friends that I can exhaust a whole day of bookish conversation with but we never get to see each other anymore. The friends that I always hang out with are the ones who’d never talk books with me. It’s sad. True! If only our bookish online friends could be real-life book bffs too!
THISSSSS. Among my friends, I am the no. 1 person to come for advice when it comes to books. I am the Book Person and everyone knows it. It’s something I do like to be associated with but it also comes with stigma too because they don’t understand how much books really mean to me. I feel quite lonely in my love of books sometimes in real life because none of my close friends shares my passion for it so I don’t really talk about it much. They do know of my book blog and some do visit it and it doesn’t bother me too much. It’s something I’ve just come to terms to that as long as I love it, that’s all that matters because anyways, at least I have the book blogging community :)
I’m happy to hear you’ve come to terms with it, Charlotte! I’m infinitely thankful that we all have the book blogging community but sometimes, I just have this ache for a real-life somebody I could pour my bookish emotions to. :'(
YES TO ALL OF THIS.
I’ve always been the reader in my family, circle of friends; basically, I’m the only reader I know so I totally get you.
My best friend literally groans whenever I mention that I was blogging or reading and I just shake my head and put away my disheartened little heart. It hurts more when no one ever give me books because they don’t want me to read more. As if the money they give me instead will make me buy something other than books. Logic fail. So yeah, apart from a very limited number of books, I never receive books from other people when it comes to presents.
Lately however, I just do not care anymore. It’s fine if no one asks me what I’m reading because it’s their loss. Reading is something I do for myself, I’ve always done it for myself and if no one wants to give a crap about that, I’ll be fine. I have my books and I have my tea.
Yet if someone really pays attention, it makes me very glad.
Clearly I’m a confused creature about this. But I do want to get up on the stage where I don’t give a damn about whatever others think or not think about my reading habit and I think I’m almost there. Almost.
P.S. I love you for writing this. *HUGS*
YOU GET ME SO MUCH, SANA! *hugs back super super tight*
I do feel very supported by family and friends, but I don’t always feel like they truly understand it. There is no one I can talk with about books. Sure, my boyfriend will listen, but it’s not the same as someone who shares the passion for reading. That’s why I’m so happy that blogging came in my life, because that is also how I started my book club. Everything is complete now, so I’m sorry you still feel alone in that. And it’s so annoying when people don’t understand why ‘you have bought another book?’ Never enough!
I’m glad your family and friends support you, Mel! I think it’s inevitable to feel like no one cares much about books like you do when you’re surrounded by people who don’t like reading much. I wish I had a book club too!
This post! I feel lucky that my co-blogger Ashley and I can always talk about books. We actually work together too, so there are a lot of lunches where we discuss books, and a lot of IMs about books while we are back at our desks. She’s really the only in-person friend that really understands what I love about reading. But my husband? Total non-reader. Does not get the appeal, and thinks it is silly to buy a book. He tells me to either get it at the library or on my Kindle (he seems to think all of those are free?) and doesn’t think physical copies are worth the fuss. A video game, sure. A book, what’s the point?
And I started a book club, but no one was devoted to reading the books like I was. They thought reading a book a month was hard to accomplish (what?!). And for those who did, we’d talk about the book for about 2 minutes until they wanted to move on to other things. No, really, I want to talk about the book we read!
And while blogging is one thing, I really enjoy talking in person about books. Maybe I need to find a new book club, and drag my co-blogger with me! Its a different experience in person.
It’s why sometimes I really wish I had a co-blogger! It’s so lovely that you have Ashley! That sucks about your husband! I hope he’ll be enthusiastic about your love for books in the future.
I’ve always wanted to start a book club! Thank you for sharing your own experience with them. It sucks that your book club members aren’t as fond of books as you are. I hope that if I ever do start one, I’d gain more bookish friends. Nice talk, Anne! :D
Everything in this post is so relatable! I do have friends who read, but it’s evident that they don’t have the same level of appreciation and love for books as much as I do. They read for fun; I read for fun AND because I am passionate about books. You know that feeling when you read a really great book and you feel like you’re going to explode if you don’t talk to someone about it? Well, that happens to me quite often. I can’t really about most books with my friends irl. When there would be book signings, it’s quite hard for me to find a friend who would be willing go with me.
As with my family, they know I love books but I don’t feel much support either. I buy all of my books with my own allowance too and I have no one to talk about books with. I don’t get any bookish gifts either.
*Sigh* I need more bookish friends.
I’m glad you found the discussion relatable! I totally get what you mean about having friends who don’t appreciate books as much! I get sad whenever I want to talk about a book and realise I have no one to call or talk to about it IRL. :(
Awww, love, I can be your bookish friend! *huggles*
Aww, I’d love that! *hugs* <3
I know how you feel! I only have a couple of friends that read and they read NOWHERE near as much as I do. One of them actually gives/donates her books when she is done reading them! Which is totally opposite of me, I can never let go of my babies! I always feel like no one understand my obsession and for the most part it’s true. The only people who understand my bookish ways is other bloggers or at least it feels that way. Great post!
Same! The people I know read about two books a year and they find out I read twice more than that per week and they’re baffled. I wish I had friends who read and loved books as much as I do. At least, we have the blogging community, yes? Thanks, Christy! :)
I totally feel like the weirdo in my group of friends because while I’m reading, they’re all in their phones (laaaameee ahaha). But I know there are some people in my school who also loves books, but not as much as I do! They only read the best-selling books and doesn’t try out or branch out from those “popular” books. Right now I’m trying to get my friend into reading Cinder. Thank God she told me she’s heard of that series…I was like YES! And we’re also planning on reading Allegiant together. She loved the first two books of Divergent I’m so happy!
Books > texting! I just use my phone to read and tweet, honestly. I never get my friends who are obsessed with their mobiles. It’s nice that you know some people who are also bookish! I only know a handful and like with your schoolmates, they’re not as addicted to books as I am either. Thanks for sharing, Leigh! :D
No one asks you why even when you’re grinning like a maniac? Eeek. And I thought I had it bad. At least the people around me ask, even though they then proceed to tell me that I look one step away from an asylum lol. But yeah, no one gifts me with books either :c They just give me money and, because they don’t want me spending it on books, my sisters take me clothes-shopping. They just don’t understand.
I know! They just look at me very funny and then I feel embarrassed. My mom and I like shopping but mostly for clothes too. Book shopping, not so much. I can only buy three at most when she’s around. (Otherwise, she’d tell me to lay off and stop spending my money on books. UGH.)
Yes yes yes–SO sharing this!!!! :)
Thank you for sharing, Jessica! :D
I totally feel the same way. It especially stings when someone who knows you read exclaims in your face that he/she does not like reading or that he/she finds reading boring and does not even care if he/she folded your book and whatnot. Common decency and respect, please.
Sometimes my friends even leave me out of discussions just because I’m sitting there reading. Like it’s a complete alien thing to do.
You are not alone, Hazel.
THIS!! People are so inconsiderate sometimes ugh. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, dear! <3
I totally get it. That’s why I love the blogging community because so many people have the same opinion and love the same books, characters etc as you! It’s the best because you can have conversation, discussion, arguments the list goes on. Also it’s like having close friends all over the world and I think that’s what I love about it most. Great discussion post!
Totally! The book blog universe is such a special community! It’s so nice to have people who understand you, even when they’re a thousand miles away!
I’m so with you. Though, mines not too bad, now. I’m book buddies with a few of my friends, so we get that. Mainly when I was in high school nobody would get it (because obviously if you like books, you’re a nerd) and I loved English Literature (which, nobody got either, and kind of hated). It annoys me, because you don’t have to be really into books to actually talk about them. Even if you don’t read that much, and you see something reading what you’ve read, why not ask how that person’s liking it? I really just don’t get it. I used to get loads of books for birthday/Christmas from friends and family, when I was younger, since now they don’t know what ones I have or not, but I still do get some, so either that or wine, which you know, is fine too. ;)
Agh, yes high school. It’s so rare to meet bookish people then! ‘You don’t have to be really into books to actually talk about them’- THIS! I really cannot agree more!
HAHA mygosh I can totally just relate! I mean, I do get books as presents at times (but only from the same uber rich uncle, and only during my birthdays and Christmases), but the thing that frustrates me the most is that I can NEVER seem to talk about my love for books with someone I see everyday. Most of my friends are either obsessed with their grades, fashion, or movies and TV, and really, I’m into all four, but the thing I love the MOST in this world somehow never seems to fit into the equation. And it SUCKS! I mean, I always try to talk someone into caring, but they always seem to shun me :( Which is why the blogosphere is so precious to me, because here everyone is into the same thing and people ACTUALLY care about what I read and stop to read my reviews and rants and everything. LIBERATION!! Haha. But yeah, even if I do have that *one* special friend that sometimes reads all these cool YA books, I just wish I didn’t feel so alone. So yeah, great post Hazel! <3
We’re in dire need of more bookish buddies yes? And I can totally see where you’re coming from since I bet most of your classmates are crazy studious! That sucks when people close you off when you just wanna geek out, you know? But it really makes you appreciate the blogosphere, yes! Thank you, Jasmine! :)
I know exactly how you feel! It’s the same for me!
I can understand that other people don’t want to talk about books, that they are just not interested like I’m not interested in sports. At least I can always talk to my internet friends. What bothers me about this though is that I’m not a very talkative person and people always tend to think I’m extremely shy even though I’m not. Would they talk to me about books they would notice that it can even be quite hard to shut me up again :D
What makes me really sad is that they don’t seem to get how much I love books. Even when the only thing I ask for my birthday or Christmas is books, they get me something else, often saying “You already have so many books”. THAT’S BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!
Somebody who completely understands! *clings and hugs you*
Thank you for posting this Hazel.. I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one. I get the condescending eye roll whenever I mention books. So in a way I stopped telling people that I love them. Only when I’m around supportive friends and fellow bloggers will I unleash my inner book nerd. There is nothing worse than to feel like you’re doing something wrong if you want all the books in the world! People who don’t love books will never get it. They won’t understand that every book is another story just waiting to be read. They won’t understand how incredibly crafted the characters are. And they never will. I’ve come to a point where I don’t care what others think and I will never let them in on my joys of reading simply because they don’t care. I’m happy on my bookworm bubble :)
You’re welcome! Yes, I’ve come to realise that now! I know what you mean- sometimes I don’t bother telling people anymore that I love love love reading and that makes me sad. It’s much easier to be around people who accept my book nerdiness but even then I wish they were as nerdy as me! I’m glad you were able to find your bookworm bubble. :)
Wow. That does sound tough when people just ask for the sake of it but aren’t actually interested in what you have to say about a book, when they asked in the first place. For me, I’m very fortunate to come from a family that loves to read. My grandmother used to read all the time. My father reads at least two books a week, so long as work isn’t in the way or he’s distracted by some TV show. My sister can sit down and easily binge read three books in a day when she has the time. But yeah, when it comes to friends, I don’t know all that many people who love books as much as I do. People give me weird looks when I tell them I can spend the whole day at the library.
But at least there’s the online book community. Be it on Goodreads, or some other platform, or blogs. Book lovers are out there and we are connecting thanks to the Internet! :)
That is so lovely that you come from a family of readers! It sounds like y’all can just sit back at home and read! My mom actually does read but she just doesn’t get why I love books the way I do. My friends only go to the library to study but never to just read. I think it baffles them that the library is a leisure place for me.
You’re so right! The bookish online community is amazing! :)
I know, right? Like, people are quite interested to hear about your passion for music or art or about your career, but. . .oh, books? Oh, that’s good for you. It’s so sad. Lovely usage of GIFs. You nailed it.
THIS!!!! Oh and thank you, I’m glad somebody here appreciates my GIF usage. ;)
My husband loves to read and is a total sweet heart about talking about books with me even the sappy ones. Even though he may not read the book he will take interest in why I like it so much and how I feel about what’s going on. This post made me even more appreciative of that. I do have friends that like to read on varying levels and those who would never pick up a book in a million years but I don’t feel any isolation due to being a book nerd.
That’s great, Amy! I’m so happy that the people around you appreciate your love for books! :D
I totally understand this feeling! Some people acknowledge my love for books and that I spend so much time reading, but no one really cared to ask much about it. It’s true that a common question is “What are you reading” but no one ever really cares to ask more about the book. I’m not even sure why they bother to ask. And I totally understand to talk to someone about it. The blog makes it easier, but it would be really nice to have someone to discuss books. None of the people I know or are close to me really care about books, so when I met a person who asked me about them I pretty much swooned. Lol. We all want someone to understand. :P
“We all want someone to understand.” So so true! I remember meeting some bookworms at a signing event and going crazy that they read and love books just as much. I wish I had the chance to meet more bookworms in real life!
It’s like you pulled this post straight out of my head! (I actually have a similar discussion scheduled for later in the month.) I’ve always been The Reader in my family, so ever since I was a young girl learning to read I’ve never had anyone I could share with. Even now, I don’t have any bookish friends in real life! And it’s so frustrating when other people just don’t get it. I can’t sit and read in the same room as my mother because she always interrupts me to talk. My boyfriend understands more than anyone, but even when he asks how the book I’m reading is, I feel like I have to give a truncated version. I was so glad when I discovered the book blogging community!
Just read your post about it actually! I totally understand what you mean! At least your boyfriend seems more understanding! He’s a keeper then, yes? ;)
Yes, I totally get this! Just yesterday, I was at physical therapy and one of the interns asked me what book I was reading, and I told him that it was a historical fiction about communist Russia and he was literally like: “Why…?” I mean, seriously? That’s your response? Like, obviously you know I love reading because I always bring a book with me and it’s a different book every single time, and now you’re going to stand there and make me feel like the stupidest person ever for reading the book I’m reading? I was so pissed!! lol. I mean, I played it off like it was funny and laughed. But, like, c’mon. He was so rude and I couldn’t even really say anything.
Okaaaay, ruuude! I’d be totally annoyed too! People who are so narrow-minded need a good punch in the face.
I really know how you feel. The last time I was gifted a book (like you said, a gift from the heart) was two years ago as well. It was when I was on exchange and at the school I befriended the librarian at that school. She was a sweetheart and when I left she gifted me a copy of The Fault in Our Stars. She wrote this message in it: ‘beware, you’ll fall in love with Augustus.’ Somebody like that just gets you, they know how much you love books, and how much it means to be given a present that you love (and means a lot to you!).
I mean, people talk about sports right? They talk about sports and even if you’re not into sports yourself you talk about it and discuss it. Why can’t people do that about books? Why can’t they just at least attempt to discuss it, because it means something to us…
I wrote a discussion post about almost the same thing… about how hard it is to talk books with non-readers, and how I feel like I can’t discuss my love for reading with them.
Its just so weird that people can’t put the effort into talking about something we love to do, just because its reading and people don’t understand it.
(okay, my rant is over!)
Awww that’s so nice! Your school librarian is lovely! What a sweet sentiment, plus her book of choice is awesome! :)
So true! It’s so easy to discuss sports or even the goddamn wheather but people seem to be so closed off when it comes to discussing books. It’s depressing. I’ll have to check out your discussion about non-readers then! Thank you for ranting here! I totally appreciate it! <3
I think a lot of us can relate to this, nice rant! People think I’m crazy all the books I buy, and I’m like what??? I don’t understand people who don’t LOL. I have some friends from school who like books as much as I do, but we’re all separated now so we don’t get to talk about them. Good thing for blogging!
omigosh, i love this talk. Luckily I have a couple of book lovers for friends, but we don’t always agree on what is an awesome book. And thats okay! I’m not complaining. In fact I like that we don’t always agree on genres and specicfic books. Becuase this way we are posed with the challege of trying to get the other to -if not like it- understand why I like it. You know? But my some of my family members (my brothers) don’t get my infatuation with them. But I can relate to how people don’t ask how I’m liking the book so far and why I like that specific book a lot. Which is why I love this online bookish community (booktube, bookblogs, etc.) becuase I know with certainty that there are other Page Sinfers out there who share my thoughts. And so I’ll end this (probably already too long comment) by asking what are you currently reading and how are you finding it?
I had very few bookish friends to start but after joining the book blogosphere, I’ve added even more. Like you, I feel much love for the online bookish community. :) Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I actually still haven’t picked today’s read and am struggling with it. Any recommendations? :D
Thank you for writing this. Its nice to be reminded that I am not alone when it comes to loving books and having the need to get more and more. It’s very hard wanting to talk about books and express our joy when no one wants to listen or cares at all. My books are my life and thats what no one understands. they make me feel like im not alone.They keep me alive when I don’t want to be. And it would be nice if my mom didn’t think that reading is a waste of time, or that buying books was a waste of money. especially if im using the money I earn to get them. I just wish all people were into books like we are. or at least understand our love for them. maybe then we wouldn’t feel so alone. anyway thanks again for writing this. I need it.